Confessions of a Drug User

I have a confession.  I’ve started using a new drug.  And I’m not just talking about my long standing addiction to caffeine; no I mean the real hard stuff.  That’s right folks—Tobacco.  I’ll wait for your condemnation and damnation to subside.

As I’ve hinted at before in my blog and have mused about in person, I’ve thought about picking up pipe smoking for several years now.  I realized it’s an odd aspiration, sucking in the fumes of burning dead plant matter, but for some reason the thought of it had taken a hold of me.  There was some romanticism in the idea of leaning back in an easy chair next to the fire or rocking out on my front porch on a nice night, slowly sipping a bowl while my children, or grandchildren, scurry around.  As far as I can remember I’ve never had anyone in my life that smoked the pipe but when I first got the tobacco, the smell triggered nostalgic memories of hardwood and leather.

                                      Mark Twain

Health Effect

 “But Chris” you say, “what about the health risks associated with smoking?”.  It’s true that the Surgeon General warns that tobacco use of any kind poses significant health risks over time.  However those studies lump chewing, cigarettes, pipes, and cigars all in the same category and thus apply the same level of risk.  But studies that have examined pipe smoking specifically have found that pipe smokers, especially those who do not inhale, actually live longer than their NON-SMOKING counterparts.  I tend to believe it’s similar to the effect of owning a cat.  It’s relaxing and thus the body experiences less stress.

                                                                               Gen. Douglas MacArthur

Hobby vs. Habit

“But Chris, but Chris, aren’t you a hypocrite for criticizing cigarette smoking for so long?”.  Pipe smoking is not an addiction for me, I’ve never had a craving to light up, and it definitely wasn’t because the “cool” kids were doing it.  Going to smoke is a deliberate act that takes a bit of planning to make happen as I don’t walk around with all of my pipe paraphernalia.  Most cigarette smokers require several 15 minute breaks throughout the day, going through a pack or two in the process, otherwise they get quite unbearable.  Smoking a good bowl take about 30-45 minutes so imagine I left work for that long on my break.  I can purchase a bag of my preferred blend for about $20 and have it last a month or more because I only go out once or twice a week where as a cigarette addict spends $40 on a carton that’ll last a week if they’re casual smokers.

                               Clark Gable 

My Conclusion

I’ve been using a pipe now for about two months and I really enjoy it.  I don’t know if it’s something in the tobacco or if the sheer act of reclining with my feet up in the open air, listening to some light jazz under the stars, but the whole process is very relaxing.  I’ll get strange looks from passersby but more often than not it’s not a look of ridicule but more of curiosity and even at times of admiration.  It’s a little unusual.

I didn’t pick up pipe smoking because it was manly, but because it was something I wanted to do.  While I have a somewhat regular routine here that will obviously be changing when I go home.  Holly and I will have to sit down and discuss when, where, and around whom I will be smoking.  I obviously don’t see anything wrong with an adult smoking the pipe but as I’d mentioned previously I have little eyes watching all that I do.  I don’t know how I feel about my little one’s imitating Dad’s smoking (or drinking a beer for that matter) although I do remember having a bubble pipe when I was a wee lad so I guess it’s not that weird.  It’s something we’ll have to sort out later I guess.  I leave you with this:

"I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs. "

–Albert Einstein, upon joining the Montreal Pipe Smokers Club. (1950)